Friday, 5 August 2011

Ally in Wonderland

Part of the Alice in Wonderland project (below).
Illustrations on Adobe Illustrator for the poem I wrote inspired by Roald Dahl's 'Revolting Rhymes'

Ally In WOnderland

I bet you think you understand
Ally’s adventures in Wonderland,
You may think the tale’s delightful,
but the real one is much more frightful.
the fake story that you think you know,
was made up many years ago.
Not until now has the true story been shared,
for fear that children might be scared.
They nearly got the first bit right,
it started on one creepy night,
when Ally snuck out after dark,
to go drinking with friends down the park.
But Ally noticed something funny,
a fluffy little snow white bunny
which seemed to be in quite a state,
crying out “I’m late, I’m late!”
Ally thought it very weird 
when this rabbit disappeared,
When Ally followed it she found
A hole that went deep into the ground.
As Ally looked some more, she tripped, 
And fell right down that endless pit.
When Ally landed on the floor,
she couldn’t believe what she saw
(Of course, we know that this magic, grand
place was Ally’s Wonderland.)
Before Ally took this strange place in,
there appeared a cat with a toothy grin,
(I don’t suppose I need to tell you that,
this was that mischievous Cheshire Cat)
He said “Oh Ally, at last, you’re here”
As he beamed from ear to ear.
“We are so dreadfully late for tea,
if you’d like to come with me”
Before young Ally was prepared,
she was at tea with the Hatter and the Mad March Hare,
(the Hatter and the Hare, I should add,
were absolutely raving mad)
The Hatter asked Ally in the middle
of the tea, the strangest riddle.
“Tell me Ally, can you guess?
Why a raven is like a writing desk?”
Before she’d had a chance to retort,
the White Rabbit had appeared once more,
“Oh Ally, Ally you must come now!”
he cried as he gave a little bow
“oh please do help” the bunny said
“before the Queen cuts of my head!”
Of course dear Ally did oblige
and bade the Hatter and Hare goodbye.
They walked for had what seemed like hours,
through gusty winds, and stormy showers,
until they reached a frightful scene,
the palace of the evil Queen.
“Please rabbit tell me” Ally said
“Why the Queen should want you dead”
He replied, “that woman has no heart”
“she thinks I stole her rotten tarts”
“What?” yelled Ally “is that it?”
“you made me come so far for this?”:
(now may be the time to tell you
Ally had an anger issue)
Now this is the bit this Carroll geezer
changed to make it sound much sweeter,
if you don’t like things that are gory,
stop and read another story.
So Ally whipped out her semi-automatic
and blew the head of the poor white rabbit,
so much blood and so much gore,
loads of bunny brains on the floor.
“That’ll teach him” Ally cackled
“to ask me to fight his petty battles”
But what of the wicked Queen is the question?
surely she taught young Ally a lesson?
But Ally gave her a tasty present,
not chicken, pork, lamb or pheasant, 
no more for tarts did the Queen cry,
but for Ally’s tasty rabbit pie.
So she spared Ally’s life on one condition,
that she took the royal court’s chef position.
So in the end it turned out great,
(except for the rabbits upon the plate)
But if there’s a moral here to be had,
it’s to never make young Ally mad.

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